I don’t really believe God.
This week, He answered a beyond prayer…a prayer beyond what I could even ask. And when it happened instead of praising God for His goodness, I kept thinking Ashton Kutcher was somewhere with a hidden camera.
I know the Bible says over and over again that God is able and that prayer changes things.
“And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” 2 Corinthians 9:8
“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16b
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
“You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” John 14:14
Yet, when it comes to my own life, I didn’t really think anything meant ANYTHING. I guess I thought anything meant realistic things, things that made sense, things that were natural.
And then this week, God did something that was just so crazy. When I was in law school I used to dream about teaching a law course one day. I didn’t even pray to God about it, because it was a ridiculous prayer. I couldn’t teach a law course because I didn’t meet the requirements for most law professors, I wasn’t on law review and I didn’t graduate at the top of my class. So it was a nice dream, but as far I as I was concerned it was just that a dream.
Then, last week when my boss came into my office and asked if I wanted to teach and undergraduate course on Race & the Law, I was shocked. I mean God had answered a prayer I was never really bold enough to pray!
And I realized that I don’t really believe Him, not like I say I do or I would expect Him to be good to me. I mean I am His daughter and He knew me before time began, the desires of my heart, my gifts and abilities He placed those in my heart. I am reminded of something one of my spiritual mentors said to me in college “God isn’t trying to put rocks in your shoes.” In Isaiah it talks about God longing to be gracious and show His goodness, but I never really believed that until now. I still secretly felt like He was just waiting to pull the rug out from under me, but I won’t live that way anymore.
God isn’t playing when He says anything and He isn’t joking when He says that nothing is too hard for Him. That is a promise I can stand firm on, the rug isn’t going to be yanked and Ashton Kutcher isn’t hiding behind any bushes. God is all-powerful and I will start living like that is true.
I will wait expectantly because I know God is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do. Even when I don’t see a way, or the dream seems too crazy, or idea is ridiculous.
Because God can is able to do “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20-21
This week, I saw Him do more than I could ask and next time I won’t be caught off guard.